Children are born for the summertime. School was created for the summertime. The sun was born for the summertime. Tell me then why our summertime was covered in stormclouds and power outages? Why was our stretch of laughter and smiles and friendship ruined by jealousy and betrayal? Are you able to explain why you left with the thunder and darkness? I cannot blame you for leaving. This town never was your taste, but what about the girl you loved? What about the girl in the red polka dot dress? What should I tell her while she cries when the power goes out? What should I lie to her about?
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There's a lot to explain. There's a lot to tell. There's a lot to bury. I was chatting with my shadow early this evening, and we came to the conclusion that despite doing so much this summer, we still felt abandoned. I'm not so surprised actually. Afterall, a lot of promises were thrown into the street.
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As cliche as it sounds, some important things have happened this summer. I reunited with old allies, made new enemies, grew away from my "best friend," crushed on someone for about a day, and hated sound boy for something he can't control. (I feel bad. I should apologize.) I still feel like throwing up when I hear the word "beautiful," and I missed my friends more than my father. I realized what I want to do with my life, but I know I'm not smart enough to do it, so I'll just cope with something less special. I know who to confide in, and he confides in me. It's a beautiful friendship; I'll cry when he leaves for the west coast.
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I haven't photographed anything in far too long. My eyes are getting blurred, and my fingers are cracking like they're breaking. The wires in my head are curling around an old idea and giving it new insight. I feel like this might work. As much as I would love to work with someone prettier, a self-portrait will have to work. I need to do laundry then.
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